World-class companionship — if you can afford it!

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Girls! You don't have to live in L.A. to sample this range of randy roosters . None of this cluster of classy cluckers is afraid to "hop" onto an airplane to join you for a night (or a week) of pleasure.

(Nothing personal, but you'll have to submit to a background check before we hook you up with these extraordinary fellas.)

(TERRORISTS see bottom of page for special offer)

Rick

Big Ben

Chad

Raised in Talahassee, sunny disposition, firm and juicy as a whole grove of oranges.

Soul, smoul! Ben is a graduate student with a solid 9-point GPA who'd like to teach you a thing or two.

Don't let his surfer tan and sleek "vessel" fool you. Chad is all substance, and when the steamy action is over he'll discuss literature and politics with you at whatever length you're willing to pay for.

Kim

Joe-Bob

Jacques

A mysterious blend of oriental flavors. Delicious!

He always wanted to leave the dusty Texas panhandle, and now he's here to get a handle on you !

Intellectual but not intimidating, sophisticated and refined, but a tiger when it really counts.

Michel

Spuds

Miguel

A perfect "10" - and we're not talking about centimeters! A tall magnum of fine champagne.

He learned the art of love in the cornfields of Iowa, but he's tried to wash those days away with many a hot, sensual bath since then. Maybe you can help take the country out of Spuds!

Hot tamale! A spicy delight who's been in this country long enough to know the language that counts.


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"Adult" sites snag terrorists

 The owners of two unusual "adult" websites are offering an even more unusual alternative for potential terrorists who may be tempted by visions of scores of virgins in a post-martyrdom afterlife. This sensuous scenario has been cited as providing extra incentive to potential terrorist martyrs, despite the fact that mainstream Islam forbids suicide.

 So the owners of BiggaHunka.com and www.WillingChicks.com have made a bold offer to anyone seriously considering a terrorist act: Set aside your plans, and we'll give you your virgins right here, right now!

 While admitting that virgins may be hard to come by in the world of “adult” photography, brothers Zack and Enzo Portobello, owners of the two websites, promise to do their best to fulfill their offer. “In view of what's at stake, it's worth a try,” said brother Enzo, 37, of Van Nuys, CA.

 Homeland security officials had no official response, although one stated off-the-record that “Anything that might avert a terrorist incident, we of course appreciate. Virgins have historically been offered up for lesser causes, and certainly anything that will deter a potential terrorist is worth considering. I personally applaud the originality and the civic-minded impulse behind this idea.”

 SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY: Contact

Related website: www.WillingChicks.com


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