World-class companionship — if you can afford it!

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You don't have to live in L.A. to enjoy the company of these classy cluckers.
None of them is afraid to "hop" on an airplane to join you
for a night (or a week) of pleasure.

(Nothing personal, but you'll have to submit to a background check before we hook you up with these extraordinary gals.)

(TERRORISTS see bottom of page for special offer)

Darlene

Tawnisha

Corrine

Raised in Talahassee, sunny disposition, firm and juicy as a whole grove of oranges.

Soul, smoul! Tawnisha is a graduate student with a 35-22-34 GPA who'd like to teach you a thing or two.

Don't let her surfer girl tan and her 37 - 22 - 36 "vessel" fool you. Corrine is all substance, and when the steamy action is over she'll discuss literature and politics with you at whatever length you're willing to pay for.

Kim Chee

Betty Jo

Pleshette

A mysterious blend of oriental flavors. Delicious!

She always wanted to leave the dusty Texas panhandle, and now she's here to get a handle on you!

Intellectual but not intimidating, sophisticated and refined, but a pussycat when it really counts.

Chantal

Sue Ellen

Miguela

36-DD - 23 - 35 -- and we're not talking about centimeters! A tall glass of fine champagne. Raised as "Crystal", a hippie child, now fiercely political yet undeniably sensual.

She learned the art of love in the cornfields of Iowa, but she's tried to wash those days away with many a hot, sensual bath since then. Maybe you can help take the country out of Sue Ellen!

Hot tamale! A spicy delight who's been in this country long enough to know the language that counts.


"Adult" sites snag terrorists

 The owners of three unusual "adult" websites are offering an even more unusual alternative for potential terrorists who may be tempted by visions of scores of virgins in a post-martyrdom afterlife. This sensuous scenario has been cited as providing extra incentive to potential terrorist martyrs, despite the fact that mainstream Islam forbids suicide.

 So the owners of WillingChicks.com and BiggaHunka.com have made a bold offer to anyone seriously considering a terrorist act: Set aside your plans, and we'll give you your virgins right here, right now!

 While admitting that virgins may be hard to come by in the world of “adult” photography, brothers Zack and Enzo Portobello, owners of the two websites, promise to do their best to fulfill their offer. “In view of what's at stake, it's worth a try,” said brother Enzo, 37, of Van Nuys, CA.

 Homeland security officials had no official response, although one stated off-the-record that “Anything that might avert a terrorist incident, we of course appreciate. Virgins have historically been offered up for lesser causes, and certainly anything that will deter a potential terrorist is worth considering. I personally applaud the originality and the civic-minded impulse behind this idea.”

SERIOUS TERRORIST INQUIRIES ONLY: Contact


 

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